Do not film your own death...

I just finished watching George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead and I’m not going to lie…it was wonderful. It was probably one of the better “zombie apocalypse” films I’ve seen in a long time. It raised a lot of questions within my gray matter inside my head.

When I sat down to write this post last night…I was going to review the film and talk about the various “pluses and minuses” but decided that an overview of American culture and how it was a pretty accurate depiction of how we’re all going to die in an orgy of hot and sexy flesh eating zombies.

Mmm…Your Torso Tastes Like Fillet Mignon.

How tasty are human beings? I mean…zombies eat people, cannibals eat people, bears eat people…everything tries to eat people. Are we just inherently delicious? Haven’t you ever seen a zombie movie? Those bumbling cranium munchers run incredibly fast whenever they might get a couple hundred pounds of human meat.

Here is my “scientific conclusion” -Zombies can smell fear [just like bears] and will only come after you if you are terrified of them.

Let’s examine this…

Look at the film Shaun of the Dead – When the survivors [led by the awesome/talented Simon Pegg] are trying to blend in with the zombies [while attempting to get in to The Winchester], they act like zombies: they shuffle, they groan, they act confident in their zombie abilities. THIS COMPLETELY THROWS OFF THE ZOMBIES. This may be because zombies are stupid…or because they weren’t visibly afraid.

Another example is in the film Zombieland. Bill Murray dresses up like a zombie and runs errands in Hollywood amidst all of the zombies. He even says at one point that he plays a round of golf at a nearby country club. Oh Bill Murray…you’re a wonderful man.

How To Prepare For The Horde.

The easiest way to fend off from a zombie attack, is to have a lot of guns. This seems sort of obvious, but only because everyone’s first reaction to an impending invasion of anything, is to shoot it [this is why America has a 2nd Amendment to it's Constitution]. So stock up on pistols, flamethrowers, shotguns, assault rifles, grenades, molotov cocktails, bolt-action rifles, and rocket-propelled grenades and all the amenities that go along with each [extra ammunition, bayonets, sights, and scopes].

Also – be sure to stock up on bats, chainsaws, machetes, metal poles, axes, and other big blunt or sharp objects.

My Advice.

1. Bunker - Invest in building an underground bunker [sorry if you live near the coast...just dig yourself a grave]. Inside that bunker, keep a lot of non-perishable food [since when the electricity goes out, your food is going to spoil], keep all your weapons and ammo, and keep your family there. Make them as comfortable as they can be with hundreds of thousands of undead monsters outside waiting to snack on their tasty flesh.

2. Pray – Pray to any God and every god. It’ll help you feel better…until you’re ripped apart.

3. Wait – …pretty self explanatory. Enjoy your bunker…before you get eaten.

I hope you enjoyed that.

Cody.

Next post: Tune in tomorrow for Tunetastic Tuesday!

Is this post totally out of my general hobbies of history and zombies? Yes. Should people see this post as being from a credible source? No, defiantly not. But I’m taking one small step for non-gamers and one huge leap for girls, who just get beat down by guy gamers.

(Though I do defend the girl gamer stereotype. I can usually be found behind a box or in a corner. I am also quite the sitting duck. Though I will add I’m a pretty adorable sitting duck with my pink armor suit.)

For those of you who are not sure what ODST is: Halo 3: ODST, is a first-person shooter game designed by Bungie and published by Microsoft. Players take on the role of a United Nations Space Command soldier in the special forces known as Orbital Drop Shock Troopers, or ODST. As a recruit, you of course have no dialogue in the entire game.

The goal of the game is pretty simple: fight the alien race known as the Covenant and save a girl who cannot drive a tank for crap and complains a lot. Or at least that is what I, a non-gamer, got from it.

While playing the game I realized how much of a girl I was. I became deathly afraid of the aliens and every time I saw a red outline of one of the enemies  I found the closest corner and hid, hoping my gun had good long distance shooting. This tactic I believe makes me a very poor candidate for the draft, which I luckily do not have to register for. This tactic does however make me the perfect spawn point if I play co-op.

You do not want me defending your country.

I also have a huge problem with duel-stick controls. Shooting and running while trying to control where my line of sight is, is not my forte. This was one of my many downfalls and causes of stress I came in contact with while playing the game.

Along with my ‘control issues’ I had a huge problem finding my way to checkpoints. While trying to find a way to not come in contact with the Covenant I would usually get lost next to a flipped over truck, which I miraculously was able to find no matter where in the game I was. Once I realized there was a map, I was pretty set.

Word of advice: Pay attention to the tutorial.

In conclusion, ODST was a pretty good game, from the perspective of a non-gamer. The storyline is pretty awesome and once you get the hang of duel-stick controls (which I still have not) the game becomes pretty addicting. (Not going to lie, there were times I would close my eyes and play the game in my head…)

As for my girl perspective on the game, it’s still not too bad. Though I’d play Viva Piñata over ODST any day, I tried to keep an open mind. I’m more used to tending to a garden filled with little piñata’s, so a first-person shooter game isn’t for me. Too stressful.

FINAL VERDICT: While ODST is a great game, I’ve decided to stick to my gender assigned roll of tending to my baby piñata’s and flowers, and leave the shooting to the men.

Thanks for listening.

Kelly.

Welcome to the first edition of…Tunetastic Tuesday!!! [and applause and cheering ensued]. This is essentially the same thing as the “iPod Suggestions” and “Ear Candy” sections…but I changed the name and the format. Enjoy the tunes…and the mix at the end!

#1. “Laser Canon Deth Sentence” by Dethklok off of Dethalbum II. Now, you are probably thinking one of two things. Either a.) Who the hell is Dethklok? or b.) Why do you have a band from an animated cartoon series on Adult Swim on your blog? Now, these are both legitimate questions. Dethklok is, in fact, a real band [now] and they produce awesome music. I downloaded Dethalbum II and practically pooped my pants because it was so good. It doesn’t sound like clips/scenes from the show anymore, it sounds like actual music.

#2. “Don’t Bore Us, Get To The Chorus” by Emery off of I’m Only A Man. I love Emery. There, I said it. This song is really great, for one reason and one reason only: the song is about wanting to do someone. That is the whole premise of the song. Doing it, with someone that you just met. It isn’t creepy at all…its sexy.

#3. “Days Like Masquerades” by The Academy Is… off of Lost In Pacific Time. LIPT is the EP that The Academy Is… released for the AP Tour Fall Ball. I’m not going to lie…the EP is really good. I mean, I was already a fan of their music, but I did not like Santi that much. LIPT is just a pretty solid 5-track album.

#4. “The Few That Remain” by Set Your Goals off of This Will Be The Death Of Us. I love Set Your Goals…I did not however, love their new album [This Will Be The Death Of Us] until I heard this song. This song features the wonderfully talented [and adorable] Haley Williams, of Paramore. This song is just a really good song.

#5. “(I Used To Make Out With) Medusa” by Bring Me The Horizon off of Count Your Blessings. I’m going to say this now…there is a chance…a very large chance…that you’re not going to like this song or this band. They are very hardcore…very hardcore. This is one my favorite songs by them. I enjoy their music by the way, just in case you were wondering.

#6. “Perfectionist” by Asher Roth off of Asleep On The Bread Aisle. I figured that since this year’s freshman class doesn’t quite remember how popularly awesome “I Love College” was, I would reacquaint the world with Asher Roth. Yes, his album is still wonderful. Yes, he still loves college. And yes, he is quite the perfectionist. This song is such a great little tune, I enjoy it a lot.

#7. “Now That We’re Done” by Metro Station off of their self-titled debut album Metro Station. I heard this song once and went “AHHHH! I love this song now!” and now I listen to it all the time…because I rock? Yes, because I rock. [For those of you who didn't know, the lead singer of Metro Station is the brother of Miley Cyrus...how awesome is that?]

#8. “Fix You” by Coldplay off of X&Y. This album, is probably the best album by Coldplay. This song seriously makes me weep when I hear it…ahhh, I’m tearing up just hearing the song in my head now.

I hope you guys like the songs. To hear them all…click the link right below this sentence.

Tunetastic Tuesday – October 20, 2009 Playlist

Cody.

This Is The Type Of Person I Am.

It isn’t any secret that I am a complete sucker for mixtapes…well since technology has found a way to kill everything adorable…the mix CD. There is just something special about someone taking the time to find a bunch of things that other people said, to tell you how they feel about you. The mixtape lets you feel romantic and creative…without actually having to be creative.

But I Digress.

I like making mix CDs…they still feel special because you know…you have to get the music on to your computer and then burn it on to a CD…which is still much less work than the whole “tape recording” thing.

I Have Found The Answer, Brothers And Sisters…

With the inadvertent help of my dear pal Terence, I have discovered 8tracks.com. The concept of 8tracks is that you can make an 8 track [or more] mix, and post it on the site under your profile. You can then embed these little guys all over the internet on various websites in which you have profiles on [I'm looking at you MySpace/Maybe Facebook].

This Site.

Is perfect.

Okay…well maybe not perfect. It has a pretty basic design [sort of like Twitter] and doesn’t offer much as far as social networking goes [unless you want your network to be full of awesome little indie mixtape makers like I do]. It does however, give you the perfect way to make a blog, such as mine, legal as far as music goes.

Sad News…

I’m going to have to stop putting up downloads as often as I do. This will be my new medium for giving you suggestions. I will make a mix and discuss it. I’m sorry…

[I feel like I just lost the last two people that care about this site]

In Closing…

If you love mixtapes…you’ll love 8tracks.com.

Follow me on 8tracks —> Klookie

Cody.